Sketch Ya Later

Preface: Wanting to write for SNL or some paying sketch comedy TV gig… it’s important to keep up with the activity.  There isn’t a much better way than practicing to a standard, in this case I'll be using SNL's.  As mentioned in my writing goals list, SNL asks its writers to pitch sketch ideas on Monday and have fleshed out sketches early Wednesday morning.  So… every week I will try to pitch aboot 5-10 sketch ideas.  See what people think about them and choose 1-3 to write (everything depending on time).   

  

Proposed Comedy Sketches to Write This Week!

Vengeful Cat- vengeful cat, doing vengefull-ish things. (lots of defecation if animated). Hmm... in a way it might be interesting to see this with a person dressed as a cat messing with a apartment room.

“and we’re hypersexuals” – probably something akin to a sex anon group but everyone ends up making out with something. "i once made out with a shoe, that ain't nothin, I once made out with a garbage bag filled with used kleenexes." "that isn't that bad" "they were not of the used for the nose kind." stay tuned for a gripping discussion... everyone on show/sketch has a "security make-out thing" (perhaps tell me about it)

Stay tuned to another episode of X person explains their sad, pathetic life.

Person coming up with sketches- producer going over what’s possible, what isn’t. the producer is lying about their capabilities.  Possibly showing limited budget version of produced sketch.

Black-out: multi-tentacle monster to girlfriend “I’m beginning to think you only love me for a multitude of things”

Soap Opera bar: like a sports bar but for women who watch tons of soaps, going to dig out all of the hilarity gold on this one. 

Something to do with meter maids or meter fairies.

Something to do with the BP trial- either a rap "I'm just a natural supplier, you callin' me a liar? All that oil is free now, go out to sea now, get yourself a free cow." or a Swiss Family Robinson "Adieu Adieu Adieu" parody.  Possibly blame game style.

Indiana Jones Convention- somebody brings a crystal skull.  People dress as Germans: "someone has to dress up as the bad guys to make this dream world more of a reality." End with rolling ball or glowing crystal skull glowing and blowing out steam

Blackout- whole bunch of priests in jail: a new one gets thrown in. what are you in here for? …smo-king a bowl!  “That’s disgusting.” (elongated version- what are you in here for? “What do you think?”  “Uh, um, we’re not really, that could be a lot of things.” “That’s not a fair question.” “ Yeah man, don’t be a jerk, we could just ask god what it is but why bother if we're here you know.” "Yeah, don't make us bug the big guy, he hates that." Alright, alright, yeah what am I thinking, we’re probably all in here for the same reason. “Yeah, probably.”  …I kind of, well, you know, when you’re in the heat of things and you well want to relax. “Yeah?”  So I you know merferner.  “What?” Merfernere. “What?” “Speak up for god’s sake!”  I smoked a bowl (enter other names for marijuana, each reference getting louder and louder, then slamming on prison bars). Why did I do it. I knew it was wrong? “Jesus, that's not even a real crime." "Should've just moved to Colorado ya moron!" or something like that.

Note: I kept contemplating whether or not to put this idea up on the board, something to mention at all... wondering if I'd get some flack for it.  Would you?  How much freedom do you give yourself?  Where do you cut yourself?

---------------------------------------------------------

Progress from last week's sketches:

Well, really the Vomit-in-a-bag sketch kinda wrote itself. 

Other sketches in 10% theory. Will get on the bus this week methinks with ailments and the like out of the way.

---------------------------------------------------------

Same note from before: my blog is still in the works, some sections aren't up / still being developed.

Also, If ye just happen to be from SNL or some other paying entertainment entity and want to hire me or the like, please e-mail me, Jon D., at  itsjtd @ gmail.com (no spaces)