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Random Articles of "Humor"
Money for Nothing
Yesterday, I enslaved my toast. Yes, that's right. I, having bought the toast, enslaved it to do my bidding. My evil, evil bidding… like getting me a drink from the refrigerator, hunting the elusive, near-extinct Hullabalabazoo, or combing my hair, except it doesn't do that good of a job because it usually leaves a lot of crumbs. Of course, being enslaved, it isn't fed or paid for its multitude of services, but if it were, it'd probably be in jelly. Sometimes I see it looking fondly outside of its cage, wondering why it can't roam the countryside or perhaps visit its mother's cottage in Germany. And then, I remind myself that it's a piece of toast and couldn't possibly have feelings and should shut up and do my laundry.
I'll Take the Cat's Class
Teachering. Unless they're tall, it's what little people do. Teachering occurs at random places often adjacent to other places, but mostly in buildings named after people important to people who name buildings. This long established tradition began in what historians call the Neolithic Period by a kitten named Mr. Fuzzy Whiskerton. Having learned the art of being curious, roaming independently, and climbing and getting stuck in trees through years of intense research and study, Whiskerton decided to share these things with all the other kittens in the form of napping and dancing and found such a pyramid to do so. After centuries of secrecy, during what is known as the Magical Mistoffelees era, humans discovered this thing that they did and made a musical about it. Much, much later, these people decided to copy the cats and created a university to practice their own teachering, but did so in lecture form without dancing or napping, making it incredibly boring. Today, we still cater to cats but they don't cater to us …and that is why cats are smart and I sleep in class- the end.
Money for Nothing
Yesterday, I enslaved my toast. Yes, that's right. I, having bought the toast, enslaved it to do my bidding. My evil, evil bidding… like getting me a drink from the refrigerator, hunting the elusive, near-extinct Hullabalabazoo, or combing my hair, except it doesn't do that good of a job because it usually leaves a lot of crumbs. Of course, being enslaved, it isn't fed or paid for its multitude of services, but if it were, it'd probably be in jelly. Sometimes I see it looking fondly outside of its cage, wondering why it can't roam the countryside or perhaps visit its mother's cottage in Germany. And then, I remind myself that it's a piece of toast and couldn't possibly have feelings and should shut up and do my laundry.
I'll Take the Cat's Class
Teachering. Unless they're tall, it's what little people do. Teachering occurs at random places often adjacent to other places, but mostly in buildings named after people important to people who name buildings. This long established tradition began in what historians call the Neolithic Period by a kitten named Mr. Fuzzy Whiskerton. Having learned the art of being curious, roaming independently, and climbing and getting stuck in trees through years of intense research and study, Whiskerton decided to share these things with all the other kittens in the form of napping and dancing and found such a pyramid to do so. After centuries of secrecy, during what is known as the Magical Mistoffelees era, humans discovered this thing that they did and made a musical about it. Much, much later, these people decided to copy the cats and created a university to practice their own teachering, but did so in lecture form without dancing or napping, making it incredibly boring. Today, we still cater to cats but they don't cater to us …and that is why cats are smart and I sleep in class- the end.
