Sketch Ideas

Preface: Wanting to write for SNL or some paid sketch comedy gig, every week I'll post 5-10 sketch ideas to keep the mind going.  Think of these as pitches.  By next week I'll hopefully have completely written one or two. The ideas range from G-rating to R and may not be suitable for SNL audiences but still... this is practice in being productive/proficient. 

Survivor's club: 

•  Round table, people talking about the things they've survived
• I survived clubbing a man to death
• I survived nabbing a purse last night
• I survived a menage tois with a cactus and porcupine
• I survived cancer.
• oh... wow. that puts things into perspective. uh we're really not capable of dealing with that kind of problem.
• I thought this was a non-joke survival club.  
• What do you mean? 
• c'mon. This is the third survivors club I've been to that wasn't serious. 
• hey, these are real problems! Joe over there survived the toe stubbing of his life yesterday 
• It's dangerous out there.
• hold me
• This club isn't about what you survived from, it's that you survived.
• I guess you're right
• Now do you want to be a part of this group and join in on the post-meeting binge/dance party or what?

• Training People to Love

• Commercial woman farting in bed- men has this ever happened to you?

• Doomsday Prepper Commercial
• doomsday prepper's pepperoni condoms
• use promo code "prepper dan" to get 20% certain selections

• Foot Titties- People with titties on their feet: 1 out of every 300 million people (PSA) 

• What to do when you spot a dead person

• Faking Injury Class

• Fairy Tale Lamaz class- each woman with different animal- look at woman with a man: you disgust me 

I try to come up with 2-3 sketches for the coming host of SNL:

Chris Pratt

• Opening monologue: being famous. now being famous-er. they let me into different clubs now, I no longer have to wear pants to certain meetings.  I get to use the executive washroom. (someone comes up) did you take a dump in my porsch? -hey buddy, did you know you're out of toilet paper? Who fixes that? Good talking bro. Anyway...

•  The cast urges Chris to get rid of Guardians of the Galaxy Cast and cast them instead... everyone is identified except Rocket- who would play him? Bobby Moynihan looking very hairy going through a garbage can.

• Air Guitar or Air Band Challenge 

• Michelle Obama's bodyguard or a really outdated reference to the Bodyguard movie. (trying to throw something slightly dramatic in).

• Under Cover Cop Guy- is at a store, smarmily disarms a robber with his charm.
• hypes up the robber to take a bunch of stuff
• awe man, a robbery, this is awesome! you should probably take some chips too. 
• do you mind if I have a bag of chips while you're doing this? I get hungry while watching aweomse things happen in front of me
• Eventually Arrests robber stepping away
• Person in background decides to rob the cashier while Under Cover Cop Guy is busy arresting other person
• awe c'mon really?

Also, If ye just happen to be from SNL or some other paying entertainment entity and want to hire me or the like, please e-mail me, Jon Desjardins, at LifeintheJon1 @ gmail .com (no spaces)

View last sketch ideas

photo by Grafixar

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