Thursday, September 11, 2014


1: Beer Makers
  • quick vendor booths. Wow, this is amazing, what's in it?
  • Well I don't know what other people do, but ours is made out of booze? 
  • You mean you put other booze together to form your booze. 
  • Yeah. 
  • You know that's illegal right. 
  • No no, you see what we  meant to say is that there's booze in out beer; we made the beer. 
  • but you use other's people's booze?
  • yeah. I mean no, no. Do over. we'd like a do over. I din't understand the question. i didn't understand the question
  • okay, I guess.  what's in your beer.
  • Trade secret. Yep, trade secret. 
  • Very well
  • One of them might be booze. 
2: Superheroes just eating lunch 

3: Matchmaker- Documentary style
  • I like to help people
  • (on the street) You (man) and you (goat) should get married, you'll look good together
  • woman talking about her matchmaking skills
  • I almost matched Brad Pitt and Angelina Finkelstein

4: Person with horns- 
  • at a party: no one knows what it's like... having horns on your head.  
  • people just think you're some kind of sexy, moving coat rack
  • someone throws a ring around a horn 
  • I could be a mythical beast of some sort awesome importance
    • (overheard) nah, your dad's got horns too, he's like our janitor
5: Another Episode of the Man-Princesses


I try to come up with 2-3 sketches for the coming host of SNL but as the season's closed... I'll choose someone I'd like to host the show:

Martin Short

good way to plug Mulaney show and showcase the comedic skillz
  • Opening monologue: it's been a long time since I've had center stage- (maybe Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin could guest star- in the audience asking questions, how does one get to the center stage I haven't been up there in... 2 or 3 seasons).
    • or some sort of ensemble-ish thing where he brings Mulaney and Nasim Pedrad with him as assistants- you can put the bags there. Mulaney-you know I'm the star of the show, right?
  •  Odd scene: There are small pedestals, on each is a fish bowl with fish.  We see the host carry and put a fish bowl on a center pedestal. The fish will be voiced over, talking about their day and being generally arrogant/ignorant. In this world, people are fish-servants. A cast member is their waiter, a person who doesn't fully understand fish language yet and takes offense to the fish in general. Thus bringing in Martin Short, the manager who has to handle the waiter and the fish. Most likely taking the waiter aside and giving a few hints at fish speak and fish courtesies (flipping around, bobbing head, saying blubblubblub).  While doing this, the fish may give directions like your good but you forget to kick your legs, yeah, your kick your legs too. Martin Short also gives these fish "complimentary something or other" (sprinkling in fish food in the fish food).
 Also, If ye just happen to be from SNL or some other paying entertainment entity and want to hire me or the like, please e-mail me, Jon Desjardins, at LifeintheJon1 @ gmail .com (no spaces)

Top photo by keencarlene

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