Sketch Ideas

Preface: Wanting to write for SNL or some paid sketch comedy gig, every week I'll post 5-10 sketch ideas to keep the mind going.  Think of these as pitches.  By next week I'll hopefully have completely written one or two. Some of the ideas will range from G-rating to R and may not be suitable for an SNL audience but still... this is practice in being productive/proficient. 

• Welcome to another episode of: "Man Overly Understanding of a Woman's Supposed Disposition Because He's Trying to Get Laid."
• I hope you don't mind eating in my basement, I'm afraid of large crowds, noise, or being above ground.
• Oh yeah, I can understand that. It's a parade "up there" sometimes it's nice to hunker down.
•  You didn't tell anyone where you were going did you ?
• Oh no no. Just vaguely told people that I was going on a date.
• Yes... date. You didn't tell them about me did you?
• No you said, what was it? Uh, you said "for this to work out you would need autonomy and absolute privacy "
• And you deleted all of our correspondence and threw your phone into a ditch fifty miles away like I asked?
• Well yeah, that goes without saying, what am I some kinda jerk?!
• Good! Good. That's awesome, some people have a real problem understanding these things. Thank you sooooo much. It sucks being agoraphobic.
• I can only imagine.

• Drag Bingo!

• Auditions for A Piece of Crap:

• "Now sensually move as if your entire body was rubbing or squirming out of someone's butt."
• Now imagine you're in a Michael Bay movie! go go go- explosive poop, explosive poop go go go  

• Family Ties.
• a bunch of weird looking family members looking at each other. One finally asks how did we get here?  a number of still photos  / flash backs occur. ends with I wonder what's in store next... flash forwards occur.

I try to come up with 2-3 sketches for the coming host of SNL but as the season's closed... I'll choose someone I'd like to host the show:

Nitya Vidyasagar - "Leela" from Sesame Street

It was a toss-up between her and Chris Knowings (Chris on Sesame Street). I feel like I have to explain: um, the Sesame Street muppets can visit. and.. um, when's the last time SNL has had an Indian woman host the show, and um... she shows a lot of character and personality on Sesame Street which would translate well into the show.  Might pick up a parent demographic. For a demographic boost a bigger band might be needed.

• That's Not My God (game show).
• Ohh... I'm sorry but it is.

• Girl Scouts-Brownies: (2 ideas)
• scout leader telling stories over a campfire
• a boy scout troupe parks out near them being douchebags and battle of the sexes ensues (yes, of course there's a dance off)

• Phone Support (3 ways)
• Nitya giving snarky phone support 
• Nitya giving sweet/nice feedback
• other person twists the niceness
• Nitya getting snarky/stupid phone support 

Also, If ye just happen to be from SNL or some other paying entertainment entity and want to hire me or the like, please e-mail me, Jon Desjardins, at LifeintheJon1 @ gmail .com (no spaces)

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Top photo by  earl53