Sketch Ideas Week of Nov 13-20

photo by chelle

Preface: Wanting to write for SNL or some paid sketch comedy gig, every week I'll post 5-10 sketch ideas to keep the mind going.  Think of these as pitches.  By next week I'll hopefully have completely written one or two. Some of the ideas will range from G-rating to R and may not be suitable for an SNL audience but still... this is practice in being productive/proficient.

Possible Sketches:

• Political Game Show: Politicians- What I meant to say was.

• Tricking an alarm
• just like the concept of having people trying to trick an alarm, probably some computer interface.  
• cajole the alarm into a game of things.  
• well I dunno...
• c'mon you're a computer, all that artificial intelligence
• I guess I am kinda smarter than the sum of 99.9999% of all sentience... ok.
• (a bit campy, needs work, true)

• Oldentime: paying tribute to god.  
• what seriously you brought that? all I brought was a basket of weasels
• those are my weasels
• I didn't say they were mine
• you don't think god's going to notice you stole a basket of weasels?
• I brought an entourage including several backup dancers. 
• oh.

• Game show: "Make up a Good excuse game show"

• Game show: "I would rather"  
• eventually gets to explicit language

• Narrating couples likes and dislikes of each other through their relationship. 
• Things were going well until he found out A. 
• She found out X and I thought it was over, you know what I mean man. Most people don't like that kinda thing. 
• They decided to quit talking for a while but each found someone that was like Q and R. 
• Then T happened and then they married and found out Z 10 years later but were both like, "well, we've been married this long"

• Clinical Studies (Dr. Cold Case Files)- Two cool, hip doctors tackle all the difficult cold/lukewarm case files.
•  Tons of scientific studying mixed with making out
• Where most of the patients probably are or end up dead
• So what you’re saying is, she really had the highly contagious flesh eaty virus?
• yes
• oh my god.

• Turns out that patient only had pop can up his butthole. Who knew?

• Red Cross: Filipino sketch- really just give us money to move to America

Lady Gaga sketches (SNL host this week)

• La Gaga Goo
• Lady Gaga opens a paraphilic infantilism shop
• would star Bobby Moynhian, Cecily Strong, and Aidy Bryant with the fetish, Beck Bennet, Cate Mckinnon and Taran Killam 
• um, you know, she's into it so I just kinda go along
• there's nothing greater than expressing true, pure, nascent energy

• Perform for the victims of super typhoon, showering them with art instead of food

• Creating a fame monster.
• bunch of demons or angels or monsters gathering and throwing things into a satin covered cauldron
• add some more eyeballs!
• would you shut up about the eyeballs
• the tongue from somebody named "Alejandro"
• shade of midnight's oil
• a unicorn's tear
• bring out the unicorn
• I'm not a unicorn I'm a human being
• likely story
• yeah, we've been tricked before. now start crying
• I wanna go home
• an obscene picture of a cow
•  from which their beautiful, beautiful creation will come out 
• much awe
• possibly destroys them 
• end with lasers
• or controls them
• end in dance and love 

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View last week's sketch ideas 

Small note: my blog is still in the works, some sections aren't up / still being developed.

Also, If ye just happen to be from SNL or some other paying entertainment entity and want to hire me or the like, please e-mail me, Jon Desjardins, at  itsjtd @ gmail.com (no spaces)